Chrome Disease is the #1 health problem facing American’s today. How do I know? Well, just look at how many people are searching for info about it every single month:
On average, Chrome Disease is searched 5400 times a month. That means about 180 people a day are taking to the internet streets in a quest to quench their thirst for Chrome Disease knowledge.
But what is Chrome Disease, exactly? Does anyone know? I’m not so sure. But I’ve got three pretty good theories.
My Tri-Theory On Chrome Disease
1. Chrome Disease is a computer virus. In this theory, Chrome Disease is a virus that effects users of the Chrome internet browser. But this isn’t like any other known computer virus. This parasitic coding has managed to wriggle its way off the Chrome browser and into an unlikely place:
Chrome Disease has been able to jump off the computer and into the human body. The Chrome cells invade the bloodstream and pose as normal, every day red blood cells. And from there, they do the unthinkable: They make you want to watch Youtube commercials. That’s right. If you have Chrome Disease, you will never skip an ad again.
2. Chrome Disease is an unhealhty obsession with shiny things. This second theory is a little less scary. There’s no mind control involved. Instead, all we have is a behavioral issue bordering on mental instability, all brought on by an intense love of chrome:
On its face, this theory is the preferable option, right? A little more chrome never hurt anyone…
Think again! Try being on the highway behind this guy on a sunny day. Reflections upon reflections upon burnt retinas. Chrome Disease in this form, if proven to be a true and valid disease, can be downright deadly. Or at least super annoying.
3. Chrome Disease is just a misspelling of Crohn’s Disease. I left this theory for last as it’s certainly the most controversial. There’s no way Chrome Disease could be Crohn’s Disease, right? Unfortunately, I think this is the case. The American Google-er has simply gotten its n-sounds and m-sounds mixed up.
On what do I base this insane theory? Well, on Google itself. Try searching “chrome disease” and all you’ll find are references to Crohn’s Disease. Google’s highly sophisticated search algorithms have made a judgement call, and Google is rarely wrong.
Crohn’s Disease is an autoimmune condition that effects the entire digestive tract. It appears the poor gentleman from the Mayo Clinic’s stock image above is having some abdominal distress, an extremely common symptom for a Crohn’s patient experiencing a flare-up. I would know, because I was diagnosed with Crohn’s at 12 years old.
If you’d likemore information on Crohn’s (not Chrome) Disease, head here.
